The King Ed-Write

Two days ago, I started my 4-month course of Isotretinoin, a medication also known as Accutane or Roaccutane.

This drug is used in the treatment of persistent acne, although in my case it’s supposed to rid me of a 7-year problem I’ve had called folliculitis. The hair follicles in my face get infected and go all red, itchy and sore. I’ve tried five or six different courses of antibiotics, with absolutely no success whatsoever. I had to stop one of the treatments early because I was getting nasty side-effects, including waking up in the middle of the night with nausea. That’s not cool.

 I also tried two course of homeopathy at the prestigious Royal London Homeopathic Hospital. My specialist was a former GP who had turned her back on conventional medicine completely. Seeing a homeopath can be a very pleasant experience. They make you feel like they’re really listening to you, and they actually give a toss. They don’t just ask about your symptoms, but they ask you about fears, phobias, hopes, relationships, psychological history and even whether you prefer mountains or beaches. Appointments last half an hour. It felt very good and I desperately wanted the homeopaths to find me a cure, but it didn’t work out.

So I found myself back in the four walls of “conventional wisdom”, otherwise known as chemical science. Again, no success on the treatments, and so here I am, almost exactly seven years after my problem began, beginning a course of the hardcore, last resort, bazooka drug.

Isotretinoin is controversial – and rightly so. It has caused miscarriages and deformed babies, and has been strongly connected to suicides and depression. The suicide and depression bits are very rare, but they highlight just how hardcore this shit truly is. When I picked my pills up from the hospital pharmacy, the extent of the pharmacist’s advice was, “Cover yourself up if you go out in the sun, and read the leaflet enclosed.”

And read it I did. The first thing to note is the appalling bastardisation of language that this particular pharmaceutical, Beacon, and I dare say numerous others, are propagating. According to Beacon, the medication does not produce side-effects, a term that implies a connection to the medication, a byproduct of its good bits, but instead it has some ”undesirable” effects - i.e., “hey, it’s not our fault, folks – we don’t desire this to happen, so don’t even think of calling Futterman, Goldberg and Brownback ‘coz we ain’t going anywhere near a court”.

Every medication has side-effects, and we all know this. But from my research, isotretinoin produces a lot of them in a lot of patients. It was originally designed as a chemotherapy drug, for Christ’s sake. This ain’t aspirin.

Feast your eyes on this list of “undesirable effects”:

-dryness of the skin, especially lips and face 

- chapped lips, a rash, mild itching, peeling

- dryness of the throat, nosebleeds, irritated eyes

-muscle aches, pains and sore tendons, arthritic pain

-hair loss

-”some people have experienced mood changes (depression or symptoms of mental disorders) and in very rare cases thoughts of suicide, suicide and attemps of suicide” (in that order?)

Then there’s the less common list of “undesirable effects”, which include headaches, nausea, tiredness, changes in vision, liver disease, anaemia, seizes, inflammation of the pancreas, inflammation of blood vessels, diabetes, uric acid problems, greater risk of infection.

The drug packet is emblazoned with warnings that females should use 2 contraceptives whilst using isotretinoin, and take regular pregnancy tests.

Oh, and you can’t drink alcohol. That can lead to serious problems.

So why am I taking this? Because I guess I’m prepared to take the risk to get rid of a stubborn condition that just won’t go. But I can’t help feeling I’m being a bit silly.

So, in short, I’m off the bottle and on the pills for at least four months. I’ll be keeping an online, weekly diary of how it’s going. If anyone notices me getting diabetes, depression, jaundice or a chapped lip, let me know, ok?